ilyryanross125's Journals on Buzznet http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[newnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnew.]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/3476351/ new fcking buzznet account.

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add me.

arrivederci.

]]> Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-12-07T17:42:00Z <![CDATA[&& i can't make it on my own, because my heart is in chicago. (a quite long one-shot)]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/2583471/
(note: this is a really old one i found in my drafts. i love the way the title plays into it, enjoy<3)
 
Kristen's POV
---------------------------
I was finally going to see the boys again tonight!
I had missed them so much when they became big.
They've all my best friends since I can remember.
I was putting on my Stay Gold hoodie when the door bell rang.
I screamed in my head for a minute, then opened the door.
"Kristennn!" Andy yelled, springing forward to hug me.
I laughed.
"Well hello Andrew." I chuckled.
Andy kissed my cheek.
Patrick smiled sweetly.
"Hello, Trick-fil-a." I chuckled wrapping my arms around him.
He laughed.
"Hey." He said kissing my cheek.
"Hey Peter Panda." I laughed.
He smiled shyly-and unlikely Pete move-and hugged me.
He softly kissed my forehead.
"Kristen! How are you?" Joe asked hugging me.
"I'm doing good, Joe. Really." I smiled.
"Gosh, you've gotten so big." He said.
I squinted at him.
"I meant like tall." He smacked his forehead a couple times. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!'" He muttered to himself.
I chuckled.
"It's okay, Joe. I see the fro has grown." I chuckled, playing with his hair.
"Yes, I need a haircut." He sighed.
"No you don't, it looks great." I said.
"Hm...really?" He asked.
"Really." I said.
He smiled.
"Told you I didn't need a haircut!" He flung his finger to Patrick.
Everyone laughed.
"Well Joe, I think you need a haircut because I'm missing a lot of socks and I think I might have an idea of their whereabouts." Patrick laughed.
Everyone laughed again.
"Are you guys hungry?" I asked.
"Yes, very. But, we planned on taking you out tonight." Andy said.
"Ohhh. Like four dates?" I chuckled.
"Yes, exactly like that." Joe laughed.
"Sure, I'll get my coat." I chuckled.
I ran upstairs and into my room.
I grabbed my Paramore hoodie and my Riot! black beanie and put them on.
I walked downstairs and Tricky automatically shook his head.
"You're going to freeze. You're in Chicago, you do know that right?" He asked.
I sighed and walked back upstairs.
I changed into my dark green bubble coat and my brown earflap beanie that ties on your chin(I don't tie it) and walked back down.
"Better." Tricky laughed.
Pete stuck his arm out and locked elbows with him.
"I have another free arm." I chuckled.
Andy took it.
"Are we ready now?" I asked.
"Mhm." Joe said.
"I'm driving!" I said.
"Mhm. Not after the incident we heard about." Pete laughed.
"You heard about that? That was black ice, totally not my fault."
They laughed.
"Andy, you drive." Patrick said tossing him the keys.
So they all walked out the door, leaving me locked arms with Pete.
"Ready to go?" He smiled.
"Mhm." I chuckled.
We walked out the door and Pete locked and closed it with his free arm.
"Awwwwh. Don't they make such a cute couple, Andy?" Patrick asked.
"Yes, they do. Look at them....aw." Andy chuckled.
I blushed and so did Pete as we climbed in the car.
I sat in the middle between Joe and Pete..
"Where could we possibly be going on Christmas Eve?" I asked.
"Pete." Patrick said.
Pete put his hands over my eyes.
"Ahh! I'm being kidnapped by Fall Out Boy." I said.
They laughed as we climbed out of the car.
"Okay." I heard Andy say.
Pete dropped his hands on my shoulders and stood behind me.
"Oh wow." I said.
We were on a humongous hill of snow.
I screamed as I slid down the hill.
Pete laughed.
"Relax! I've got you!" He chuckled.
I clung onto Pete really tightly as we slid across the flat ground.
We stopped.
"Whew. You scared me." I poked his nose.
"You'll live." He chuckled picking up the sled and dragging it up the hill.
We walked to the top.
"Where did the guys go?" I asked.
"AMBUSHHHH!" Joe called.
They threw snowballs at us.
We started hitting them back, but three against two wasn't working.
"Retreat!" Pete yelled as he pulled me onto the sled again and we slid down hill.
We laughed as we fell off the sled about halfway.
"C'mon." Pete whispered, pulling me behind a bush.
"Start making snowballs." He commanded.
"Yessssir!" I saluted.
He laughed and looked for them as I made snowballs.
"Okay, here they come. Let's pray we both make it out alive." He said.
"I'll miss you if you don't Pete." I chuckled kissing his cheek.
He laughed as we shot up from our positions and ambushed them.
"We forfeit!!" Andy yelled.
Pete and I laughed and high-fived.
"Nice work, soldier." He chuckled.
"You too, sergeant." I laughed.
"So...." Andy started. "What exactly were you two doing behind that bush?" He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes.
"You guys are just jealous because we won." Pete chuckled.
"Mhm, sure." Joe said.
"Where to now?" I asked as we climbed in the car.
"We're going to visit some friends of ours in town." Patrick said.
"Oh, have fun then." I said trying to sound happy for them.
"You don't want to come?" Pete asked playing with my hair.
"I figured you guys wouldn't want me to tag along." I shrugged.
"Please, we see them all the time. It's basically you we want to see." Pete said.
"Oh." I nodded, happy that they actually missed me back.
We pulled into a nice hotel with an unpronounceable French name.
Andy called someone.
"Hey, what number?"
"Okay, see ya in a minute." he said as we got in the elevator.
He clicked button 7 as the doors closed.
I sighed and looked to the ground.
"Nervous?" Pete whispered behind me.
"A bit. You know how I am around new people." I said.
"It's okay. Gabe, Alex, Ryland, Victoria, and Nate are really nice." He whispered.
"Gabe?! Nate?! Alex?! Victoria?! Ryland?!" I yelled.
"Whoa, relax." Joe said.
"Guys! I'm going to meet Cobra Starship and you want me to relax?!" I yelled.
"Come on, it's fine. They're just five regular people, just like us." Patrick said.
"Normal? Gabe Saporta normal??" I asked.
"What's so special about Gabe?" Pete asked, his voice sounding jealous.
I sighed.
"Nothing, Pete."
"Do you like Gabe?" Andy asked.
I scoffed.
"I don't even know the kid."
"Mhmmm sureeee." Andy smirked.
When I finally came to my senses I realized Pete wasn't close to me anymore.
Far away, actually.
The elevator doors open and we walked out.
"What's wrong Pete?" I asked.
"Nothing." He sighed.
"Do you want to hold my hand so I don't scream my guts out?" I smirked.
He tried to fight it, but he let out a laugh and took my hand tightly.
We walked into the hotel room and there they were.
Nate was outstretched on the couch.
Victoria was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, petting a small black and white pooch.
I'd say from my avid internet usage, the dog was Gizmo.
Alex and Ryland were playing Mario Kart on the Game Cube.
They had themselves stationed on the ground, ready to spring up in victory if they win.
Gabe...Gabe was sitting by the fireplace.
The flames made his brown eyes shine so brightly.
He had on a white baseball shirt with black sleeves, light faded pants with a couple holes, and a white and black Atlanta Braves hat.
My favorite baseball team.
He hadn't noticed when we walked in until Nate spoke.
"Hey guys." Nate smiled.
Gabe turned his head slowly.
His eyes caught my eyes at first, and I could of sworn to a slight smile on his face.
Then his eyes dropped to me and Pete's hands and any chance of the slight smile disappeared.
I immediately dropped Pete's hand and Gabe chuckled.
Pete then put a protective arm around my waist and I rolled my eyes.
"Who's your friend?" Alex asked.
"This is Kristen. Kristen, this is Gabe, Ryland, Victoria, Alex and Nate." Joe said.
I waved.
"I like your jacket, Kristen." Victoria said.
"Thanks, Victoria. I like your dog." I chuckled bending down to pet him.
She chuckled too.
"Say hello Giz." She laughed.
"Hello." Someone barked.
I looked at Nate and we laughed.
"It's nice to have another girl here, the boys bore me." She laughed.
I laughed too.
"Hey!" Patrick laughed.
"Except you." She chuckled.
"Are you guys spending Christmas here?" I asked.
"Yes, why?" Victoria asked.
"You guys should come stay at my house with me and the guys! It's a much homey-er environment for Christmas!" I said.
"We couldn't." Victoria said.
"Oh come on! It's my pleasure!" I said
"Guys?" Victoria asked.
"I think it sounds like a great plan." A voice said.
I followed it to the smiling boy by the fireplace.
I smiled appreciatively and maybe blushed a bit too.
"Oh..okay." Victoria said.
"Great!" I said as I scribbled down my address.
"We have to go, we'll see you guys there." I said.
"Okay, bye." Ryland said.
"Bye."
I walked out the door, but not without throwing a glance at Gabe.
He, unexpectedly, winked at me.
I became weak at the knees when we got in the elevator.
"That was unexpected." Andy said as I tried to even out my breathing.
"Everyone deserves a warm place to stay on Christmas, Andy." I said climbing in the car.
"True." He shrugged.
The rest of the ride home was quiet.
We got there and I made hot chocolate for everyone.
I made Andy's with water instead of milk.
Then, I made some cookies.
After that messy task was finished, I started on fudge.
 
Patrick's POV
-----------------------
We sat there watching A Christmas Story when I noticed Pete was being really, really quiet.
"You like her a lot, don't ya Pete?" I asked.
He merely nodded and looked at his hot chocolate.
I sighed.
The doorbell rang.
"Can you guys get that?" Kristen called.
I got up and opened the door.
It was obviously Cobra.
"Hey." Alex said as they walked in a sat on the couch.
"Hey." I said.
 
Kristen's POV
--------------------
"Whew." I wiped my forehead before stirring the fudge.
"Need help?" A voice called.
I turned to see Gabe leaning against the wall.
He walked to me.
"Uh...sure." I said.
He rolled his sleeves up.
I may have looked calm, but my mind was screaming.
"uhh...Do you want to stir?" I asked.
"Sure." He reached for the spoon.
That moment when our hands touched I felt a spark go through me.
"Is everything okay?" He smiled.
"Oh...yeah." I shook my head grabbing the peanut butter and putting 2 and a half cups in a measuring cup.
"Did you do all this?" He asked gesturing to a table filled with cookies, fudge, and candy.
"Well...yeah." I shrugged.
"Do you always go overboard on Christmas?" He asked.
"Yes." I admitted.
He chuckled.
I took a drink of water.
"Do you live here with Pete?" He asked.
The water almost spat out of my mouth.
"Why would you think that?" I asked.
"The way Pete had his arm around you at the hotel." He said stirring.
"Oh, you noticed?" I asked casually.
"Yes." He chuckled.
"Don't make me admit the truth." I muttered.
"Why not?" He asked.
He wasn't supposed to hear that.
"Well, you guys are my favorite band. He did it so I didn't scream my guts out." How did he get that information out of me??
"We are?" He asked.
"Mhm."
"That's cool. You know you really shouldn't be so nervous around us. We're just people like you." He said.
I laughed, remembering what was said before I met them.
Gabe raised his eyebrow.
"Deja vu." I shrugged.
He laughed.
We sat and waited until the fudge cooled.
The silence drove me crazy because I knew he was thinking that I was crazy.
He looked at me and laughed.
"What?" I was suddenly self-conscience.
"You have flour on your face." He chuckled.
I started rubbing my face trying to get it off.
He chuckled.
"No, right here." He said walking to me and getting it off.
"Thanks." I chuckled nervously.
Insert me staring into Gabe's eyes that, even without the fire, shone brightly.
"Giz!" I heard Victoria yell.
Gizmo ran in the room.
Gabe jerked back against the counter a second before Victoria walked in.
"What?" Victoria asked as we both stared at her.
"Nothing." Gabe said.
Victoria was putting Gizmo's leash on.
"I'll take him." I volunteered.
"Really?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
I got Gizmo on the leash and took him into the front yard.
"Boo." Someone breathed on the back of the my neck.
I shivered and turned around.
I saw a wide-smiling boy with brown hair and a purple hoodie.
"Hey." I said.
He nodded.
I was pretty nervous around Gabe.
"C'mon Giz, let's take a walk." I said walking Gizmo down the road.
Of course Gabe followed.
So suddenly, the ground wasn't beneath me and Gabe''s arms were around me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes. God, I feel like such a dork." I groaned.
He chuckled.
We were so close that I wouldn't dare to breathe in case I ruined the moment.
Gabe leaned in and closed the little space there was.
I couldn't believe it.
I was kissing Gabe Saporta.
Gizmo barked and ran so fast the leash came right off my wrist.
I pulled back and we chased after him, laughing as hard as possible.
Gizmo's leash caught a rock and he stopped, still barking.
I ran in the snow to get him, but I felt those familiar arms hug me from behind and pull me back.
"I've got to get Gizmo." I laughed.
"He'll be fine." Gabe chuckled.
Gabe once again closed any space between us and pulled me close.
When he pulled back I had my arms around his neck.
"So..I guess we're kinda going out now..." I said.
"Yeah.." He said.
I let go of him and started to go get Gizmo.
I turned back, took his hand, and we got Gizmo and walked back to the house.
 
Patrick's POV
--------------------------
Pete and Nate were having a "ghetto fight" and the rest of us were laughing.
Nate said "Yeeeah boy!"
And Pete yelled it louder.
"Pete wins." Ryland said.
"I agree." Andy stated.
The rest of us nodded.
A door closed and Gizmo dove for Victoria's lap.
I looked at the door in shock.
Kristen and Gabe stood there, their hands intertwined.
I immediately looked at Pete.
He looked hurt and confused...No doubt he had thought she loved him....
I felt so, so sorry for him.
She's all he's ever wanted for years and she threw it away in one night with a boy she just met.
Unbelievable....
 
Kristen's POV
-----------------------------
I couldn't handle all the stares so I pulled Gabe in the kitchen.
"I wonder what's stuck up their butts.." Gabe said.
I nodded. not paying a lot of attention to him.
Rather thinking what I could of done that was so bad everyone in the room glared at me.
What could it be?
Did I forget to wear pants?
No....that was stupid.....
Did I shoot someone?
No, I'd remember it.
Unless I did it when I was sleepwalking...I tend to do that a lot...
"What are you thinking about?" Gabe asked, playing with my thumb.
"Nothing and everything." My usual reply to that question.
"Thanks for clearing that one up." He laughed.
I smirked, still not paying the attention I should to my new boyfriend.
Boyfriend!
That's it!
They don't want me and Gabe together....but why?
Patrick walked in the room.
"Kristen, can I speak with you outside?" He asked.
I looked at Gabe, hoping for him to say, "Heck no! She's not allowed." or something like that.
Instead, he nodded.
It was an obvious nod, like he was telling me I was free to do whatever.
My palms were sweaty as I slipped my hand out of Gabe's and followed Patrick out the side door, closing it behind us.
We walked out a little further to the patio and sat on a bench.
"So...." I broke the silence.
"The snow is pretty, isn't it? Almost too pretty." He said.
I looked at him like he was crazy.
"What are you getting at, Patrick?" I asked.
He glanced at me for a minute, then turned back to the snow.
"It's so pretty that it appeals to more than one person. Some people fall in love with snow in one hour, others have loved snow for all their lives." He said.
I tried to decode the message.
"Snow loves falling in different places. It loves more than one. I don't even think it realizes that it loves falling in a certain place...but it does. A lot."
I felt like saying. "Okay Patrick, you're scaring me now." but I was curious as to the rest of this story.
"Snow has fallen in the wrong place you see. It fell so close...so close...to where it needed to be...but it didn't. It fell in a new city, a city that snow has never fallen before. And people in that city loved snow back, but not as deeply as the old city. The old city misses snow, it's raining in that old city now. It's raining because the city is broken...The city feels empty, like a ghost town. That poor, poor city." He muttered.
I felt like crying for the city.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
Patrick is so good at this.
"The city isn't complete without snow. It's like Chicago. A winter in Chicago wouldn't make sense without snow, correct?" I nodded, and he went on: "The snow needs to go back to Chicago. The snow is also incomplete without Chicago. I can see through it. It looks the same, but I can see." He repeated. "Where do you think the snow needs to go?" He asked, making eye contact with me for the first time since this conversation began.
"The snow obviously needs to go back to Chicago." I breathed.
He smiled.
"Can you send the message for me?" He asked.
I wasn't sure what he was talking about, so I just nodded.
He smiled softly and walked back inside.
My thoughts were screaming at me in my head.
I wanted deeply to shut them off, but that's impossible.
I also wanted deeply to scream at Patrick for giving me a riddle and walking off with the answer.
The snow should obviously go back to Chicago, like I had stated.
I know they don't want me with Gabe, so he's obviously the new city...but who's Chicago?
Someone loves me and I don't even know who it is.
I sat down in the snow, leaning back and closing my eyes.
The snow is obviously me, and like I thought earlier, the new city is Gabe.
Who's snow?
It can't be Patrick, or he wouldn't have came out here.
They would have sent someone else to tell me.
Maybe another person would of just said "Yo, Dump Gabe and go out wit ____".
That would have helped.
It couldn't be anyone in Cobra, they're all 'new cities' too.
There's no way it's Joe, he's like my brother.
We tried that in 10th grade but we clearly got our family feeling mixed up with relationship feelings.
To shorten it, we broke up.
Andy?
No, it couldn't be.
He's also like my brother.
More than Joe, I think, but less than Patrick.
So, no to Andy, Patrick, Joe, and Cobra.
That leaves one person.
I heard footsteps, but saw no one.
"Who's there?" I called, almost to frightened to get up and see.
I heard nothing.
I leaned up a little and saw the back of a red hoodie and a yellow beanie with wings.
I usually would have laughed that Pete still wears that old beanie, but I didn't.
I guess it's not set in stone that he's Chicago...and he is and open target...
I silently got up, made a snow ball, and hid in the bush.
I chucked it at him and ducked.
He looked back, searching the area.
He muttered something and began to walk down the sidewalk again.
I-soft on my feet-ran to him and jumped on his back.
"Hiiiyahhh Peter!" I yelled, smiling.
He shrugged me off and kept walking.
I hid the hurt that he provoked by shrugging me off and tried to make him smile.
I ran beside him and interlocked arms.
"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz!" I sang.
He cracked a smile, but then immediately covered it with a frown.
"Ahh! Don't even pretend you didn't just smile! I saw it!" I ran in front of him to make him stop walking.
He looked at me with dead eyes.
I messed with his face and made him smile.
"Fishy, fishy, fishy!" I laughed, making him look like a fish.
"You're so immature." He sighed, moving my hands from his face and walking again.
That one stung a bit.
"Pete, what's your problem?" I asked.
He stopped.
"Nothing's my problem, I just don't feel like being foolish." He said.
He continued walking.
I grabbed his beanie off his head and ran the other direction.
"Kristen, c'mon! I'm going to get sick!" I heard him yelling and fast footsteps behind me.
He grabbed both sides of my waist and pulled me and twisted me around.
He stopped for a minute, biting his lip and keeping his hands on my waist.
I waited for his next move.
His face became smug as he took his hands off my waist and jerked his hat from my hands.
He put it on and walked down the street again.
I frowned, holding back tears.
No doubt Pete hates me now.
I slowly walked inside, watching and counting my footsteps.
When I got inside, I immediately saw Gabe.
"Hey baby." He smiled.
I walked right past him, up the stairs, into my room, and closed the door.
I collapsed on my bed.
 
Pete's POV
-------------------
I sighed.
It was so hard to ignore her and act like I didn't love everytime she touched me.
I walked back inside the back door and Gabe stood there.
"Great." I muttered to myself.
"What'd did you do to her, Pete?" He asked.
"I didn't do anything." I said, annoyed already.
I started to walk off, but he pulled my hood back.
"Do. not. touch. me." I stated coldly.
"Whatever! Tell me what you did, you jerk." He said.
"I didn't do anything to her! Maybe it's you! Maybe she doesn't love you like you think she does, you prick!" I yelled.
He pushed me back on the chairs.
I got up and drove him into the counter and punched his gut.
He tripped me with his foot and lifted me back up by my hood.
He spit in my face and punched my eye.
I punched him back.
 
Kristen's POV
-----------------------
I heard a big boom downstairs and out of curiosity I walked downstairs.
I looked around the room to Nate, Ryland, Victoria, Patrick, Joe, Andy, and Alex and they looked puzzled too.
There was another boom and it came from the kitchen.
With narrowed eyes I followed it.
"Guys!" I screamed.
Everyone was soon packed in the kitchen and we tried to pull Pete and Gabe apart.
They were both bleeding but from different places.
"What is wrong with you two?!" I yelled, standing in the middle of the room.
They both stayed quiet and looked at their feet.
"Who started it?" I asked.
Nothing.
"Well?!" I yelled.
Gabe raised his hand, still looking at the ground.
"You guys aren't kids! Stop acting like them!" I yelled.
Nothing.
"Ughh! What was this over?!...Well?!" I yelled.
"Umm...Kristen." Victoria said.
I looked at her and she pointed at me.
"Me? Er...well...I thought you hated me Pete." I finally sputtered out.
"No." He mumbled.
"Well, what was outside all about, then?" I asked.
"I want to hate you so bad...but I can't." He muttered.
"Why?"
"You broke my heart." He said.
His eyes were soft as he glanced at me and then back at the ground.
I gulped.
"Ahh, give it up, Pete!" Gabe yelled.
"Don't yell at him!" I screamed.
Gabe looked at the floor.
"Maybe It'd be best if we left." Ryland suggested.
Gabe shot him a look.
"I think that's for the best." Victoria added.
"Then it's settled, c'mon guys. Pack up." Nate said.
"I don't want to leave." Gabe protested.
"You've done enough damage. I'm sorry Kristen, that it didn't work out between you and Gabe." Alex said.
"What?!" Gabe yelled.
I nodded as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"Alex!" Gabe said. He moved closer to Alex, grabbing his shoulder. "You have to know what I'm feeling, I love her."
That made me feel worse.
"Gabe." Alex said gesturing to Pete who was looking down at the ground. Did I see a tear roll down his cheek? "Pete's our best friend."
Gabe looked at the ground.
"Can I at least say goodbye?" He asked.
Alex nodded.
Gabe moved to me and lifted my chin with his hand.
"I love you." He said.
"I love you too." I mumbled.
He moved my hair from my face and hugged me.
He kissed my forehead and walked away.
He stopped for a minute, probably considering going against the rest of the band's wishes and turning around, but he clenched his fist and began walking again.
I felt another tear roll down my cheek, and I past Cobra upstairs.
Gabe must of been coming for me, because I heard Alex say: "No!"
I ran in my room and closed the door.
 
Pete's POV
--------------------
I was looking at the floor when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
It was Gabe.
"I don't mean any trouble Pete." He said. "Kristen's upstairs crying and I think you should go make sure she's okay."
I shook my head and laughed.
"You are so twisted." I said.
He laughed.
"See ya man." He said.
"Bye." I said, tredging up the stairs.
 
Kristen's POV
----------------------------
I yawned.
I was pretty bored sitting up here, trying not to think of Pete nor Gabe.
I felt an arm slip around my waist and a pair of lips touching the back of my neck.
Is it Gabe again?
"I love you...so, so much." I heard Pete say.
"I love you too, Pete." I started to cry.
He wiped my tears away and moved my hair out of my face.
"I've waited so long to hear that." He chuckled, tears falling down his cheeks as well.
I smiled a rusty smile through tears.
He kissed my lips and held me like I was going out of style. 
 <3
]]> alex suarez andy hurley fall out boy gabe saporta joe trohman nate novarro pete wentz ryland blackinton victoria asher Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-06-26T14:36:00Z <![CDATA[Let Me Take You There |00|]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/2236181/

Gabe Saporta.

The name makes my sister’s head float.

It makes her eyes twitch, her toes wiggle, and makes her smile uncontrollably.

Last but certainly not least, it makes her heart skip a beat.

She was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

He returned her feelings just as strong if not more.

He was messy and childish and she was well-kept and mature.

Opposites attract.

It was love at first sight, if you believe in that.

Do you hear their hearts beat as one?

Lean in and listen very closely or you’ll miss every minute of it.

Put it in your soul for safe keeping.

My name is Julia, by the way.

I need to tell this story, even if it be to this journal and this journal only.

I wish I could keep it short and simple, but I can’t and I apologize.

I hope this endless abyss of words catches at least one person’s eye.

Perhaps you.

Let’s get down to business.

I hate to quote a popular punk-ette, but “He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?”

He loved her from the beginning, and he stuck out in the crowd like a rainbow in a sea of un-crystallized colors to her.

She wasn’t sure what she felt for him.

Maybe it was just the kind of chemistry best friends have.

She wasn’t sure until she saw that one smile that made the alarm clock in her head buzz.

She loved him.

Two hearts already intertwined, two minds screaming the same thing: “He/She would never love me back.”

Oh, little did each know!

They were soul mates, the kind you read about in sappy love novels to give lonely women across the world hope.

It was the kind of love that could burn metal and drain the ocean.

The kind that made you stop and think what was actually important in life.

The kind that turned the love disbelievers in 360-degree circles until they were dizzy and blind sighted.

They would of burnt down cities if they were separating the two hands.

They would of burnt the continent if it separated their lips.

They would of burnt the universe if it separated their skin.

 

-----------------------------

Whoooa baby.!

I lurved this story, you dig?(:

Comment you rad people!

]]> gabe saporta whoaaaaaaaa.! Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-04-22T15:28:00Z <![CDATA[Wow...]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/2213961/ My bad.

I've been writing in my stupid little notebook, but that's no excuse.

I am truly sorry for making empty and meaniless promises.

I am on lockdown.
No cell phone.

No ipod.

No CDs even!

Not being able to talk to Trace and Mason is killer whack.

On an even sadder note,

I'm supposed to be at my Boys Like Girls concert now.

Yes, my.

One of my best and most cherished friends Chloe is best friends with the boys in the band and I had backstages passes.

I asked my parents and they replied 'maybe' two weeks back.

That slowly morphed into a deny.

Apparently, four or five teenage to mid-twenty year old boys are not enough supervision.

Especially not when I'm in love with them all...

Ha-ha.

So instead, I'm sitting here...writing to you...watching the news...YAWN.

The worst part is these two really trashy girls at my school will be attending.

I've hated them forever and now look!

They're going to my date!

What posers!

But, I guess they can't say Martin Johnson told them specifically that he loves them.

Or that Paul DiGiovanni wants to meet them or thinks they're a freaking awesome chick.

I guess they have talked to them like I have.

Heck, they don't even acknowledge their existence!

Yess...blogging is good for the soul(:

I'm so lucky and don't even realize it.

All the Boys Like Girls news gets told to me before the public.

I know their secrets that no one else knows.

And boy, it kills my heart sometimes.

Sometimes it makes you think, "Knowing these people is not worth the heartache."

But then you realize it's fully worth it to talk to your heroes.

I have an open invite to go watch Thunder be filmed in Boston at the end of May.

I might just go.

I hope so.

 

Life doesn't look so bad when you stop moping enough to breathe the sound from the speakers in.

I keep it in my head for memory and my heart for hope and meaning.

Always wishing you the best,

Kristen.

]]> caring hopeful. loveless meaningful ruthless wreckless Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-04-18T15:08:00Z <![CDATA[Wow.]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/2097351/ 9 out of 10 of you probably hate me almost a year later, but maybe you'll read this.

Life's a teeter totter right now.

Cobra concerts and failing classes does that to a kid. I promise to get back on track with you guys. In fact, I promise to do it weekly (hopefully even when im grounded) and force myself to write. Writing in a notebook about these beaus doesn't do them justice, you dig? Yeah. Sneaking on the computer is fun. So, new fanfic(s)? One at a time? Out with the old, in with the new? You dig what I'm dishing? I just don't feel these fanfics I've written. I'm getting better at this daily and I look back and wonder why you read these stupid things. Honestly! Well, I'm going to do this. *sighs* I'm thinking I need some characters...Interested? You should be. Leave a comment with your name, personality, a couple of your dream boys, and any other interesting crap you'd like me to know. Get on that. Oh, and the new panic CD is unfathomably incredible. Off to talk to my boy Trace Cyrus on aim (no, you cant have it). see you later beautiful.

]]> bilvy the vamp hahaha! hanna beth the tramp i love it Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-03-31T12:49:00Z <![CDATA[my top ten celeb crushes.!]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/1980841/ okay here it goes 1 through 10 k. and you MUST tag 10 people on buzznet after you are finished listing all the crushes.

*sings: "I came here to make you dance tah-night!" ;]*<br />Here I go, fo shohh!<br /><br />10.) Paul "Poolie" DiGiovanni "DiGi"<br /><br />http://s57.photobucket.com/albums/g201/HughJackman1/Paul%20DiGiovanni/?action=view&current=l_e0dc193be2de6c096b357a8c62e6c543.jpg<br /><br />Ahhh, I love him.!<br />I can't get over how sexy he is...<br />AND I'm meeting him personally one of these days.!!<br />(I love you Chloe;P)<br /><br /><br />9.) Adam "Sisky Biz" Siska.<br /><br /><br /><br />Sisky Biz is the shizz.<br />:D<br />'Twas love at first headbang.<br />;]<br /><br /><br />8.) Ryland "Pleasure Ry" Blackinton.<br /><br /><br /><br />Guy Ripley=&hearts;<br />But ya know...<br />That's irrelevant;]<br /><br /><br />7.) Nate "Nasty Nate" Novarro.<br /><br /><br /><br />Nate Novarro pwns at drums.<br />Who <i>can't</i> help to love that face?!<br /><br /><br />6.)Alex "Marshall" Marshall.<br /><br /><br /><br />Love at first sight.<br />No joke.<br />This kid is rad...and even radder in person.!!<br />:]]]<br /><br /><br />5.) Peter "Peter Panda" Wentz.<br /><br /><br /><br />Without a doubt my first love.<br />I don't care if you hate him, he's a genius.<br />Get over yourselves.<br /><br /><br />4.) Alex "Suar-easy" or "Suavez" Suarez.<br /><br /><br /><br />He is just so dxmn pretty.!<br />I know that's weird but hey, I speak the truth.!<br /><br /><br />3.) Alex "Gaskarth" Gaskarth and Jack "Jack Attack" Barakat.<br /><br /><br /><br />I couldn't pick one over the other.!<br />:D<br />I've loved them as long as I can remember, you dig.?<br /><br /><br />2.) Trace "Kristen's Snake Bitten Manwhore" Cyrus.<br /><br /><br /><br />I've <i>touched</i> that vest.!!<br />Be jealous.<br />I LOVE him.<br />*swoon*<br /><br /><br />1.) Gabriel Eduardo Saporta.!!<br />[who else?!]<br /><br /> <br /><br /><i>mmmmmmmmmm.</i><br /><strike>I'd tap that<3</strike><br />:]<br />I loved him ever since Midtown.!<br />He is the best thing since microwavable pretzels.!<br />:]<br />Three more Gabe pictures and I'm done:]]<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br />;D<br /><br />I tag....

]]> clearlyxconfued colorization geegeegenie kisspanic4us missxrachita omfgpeteizsooohott youknowyoulovect zippythechick Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-03-12T14:31:00Z <![CDATA[The Hush Sound!:]]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/1780421/ Come on guys, it's only one of the greatest bands of all time!

:P

<a href="http://www.fueledbyramen.com/streetteam/ad.php?u=2&b=805"><img src="http://www.fueledbyramen.com/streetteam/img/46/4/hushcover-lrg.gif" /></a>

]]> Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-02-05T16:06:00Z <![CDATA[And Afterall; You're My Wonderwall. [Gabe Saporta One-Shot]]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/1761391/  
 
Kristen's life was demolished piece by piece.
Her parents disowned her for no known reason, she got fired from her job, and her friends quit speaking to her.
There was one more thing in this world for her.
His name was Gabe.
They had been going out for a solid year.
She watched as his music career rose in his new found band, Cobra Starship.
She watched all the girls faint at his every word.
She knew he didn't care about her.
Or at least, she thought she did.
She needed one more step to stop the pain of her so called 'life'.
She inhaled, then exhaled.
God couldn't punish her for this.
He could only say that it was for the best.
She picked up her foot off the ground, slowly moving it forward.
She placed it on the edge of the cliff.
One step with the right foot and she was off the hook that easily.
She lifted up her foot...
She couldn't make the last step.
Gabe tackled her, knocking them back into the grass; Him on top of her.
"You can't leave me too." He said.
She didn't see his face, but she heard him crying.
"Gabe?" Kristen asked.
"Why would you think about doing this? Do you hate me that much?" He asked.
"I don't hate you Gabe! I just.." she stopped.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Didn't think you would of cared." she muttered.
"Of course I would!" He sounded offended, but all of his emotions were muffled by his shaking voice.
"How did you know I'd be here?" I asked as he calmed a little.
We both sat up.
"I found your note." He mumbled, putting his chin on his knees.
"What were you doing at my house?"
He smiled, and she was baffled.
Then he pulled something out of his pocket and gently placed it in her hand and closed her fingers on it.
She was curious.
She opened the little black box to find a diamond ring.
She choked and Gabe smiled brightly.
He took the box and bent down on a knee in front of her.
"I love you. I love you more every single time you smile at me, and I will until the day I die. Will you marry me?" He asked.
She started to bawl, and Gabe's smile left his face.
"You're not obligated to say yes." He frowned, wiping her endless tears away.
She hit his shoulder.
"What was that for?" He whined.
"For being an idiot! I love you too!" She laughed.
He started laughing too.
"Is that a yes?" He asked.
She looked at him and laughed.
"I was just making sure." He smiled, pulling her into his arms where she would forever stay. 
]]> gabe saporta gabe saporta. one shot oasis one-shot wonderwall Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-02-02T08:25:00Z <![CDATA[Be My Escape. [Gabe Saporta One-Shot]]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/1743001/ Kristen was listening to her ipod in her room late on a Saturday night.
She flipped the magazine page to read about the latest gossip.
She heard a noise and paused the song and pulled the earphones out.
"I'm going insane." She shook her head after a minute.
She put the earphones back in, but had yet to press play.
There was a click against the window, and then another.
She took her earphones out and opened the window.
"What are you doing here?" She asked Gabe.
"Trying to break you out." He smiled.
"That's sweet, but I can't bare to mess up again." She grimaced, turning and glancing behind her shoulder.
"You're 18, you don't have to listen to what they say." He protested.
"Gabe..." Kristen started.
"Get your butt down here!" He laughed.
Kristen laughed and looked back behind her shoulder once more to make sure no one was watching.
She opened the window as high as it could go and hung her feet over the window sill.
"I will catch you, I promise." Gabe smiled, extending his arms into a cradle.
Kristen took a deep breath.
She trusted Gabe.
She loved Gabe.
Before her inner voice could say no, she slid off the sill.
Sure enough, she landed in her one true love's arms.
His smile was gleaming from the moonlight.
He kissed her hair and sat her down beside him.
He grabbed her hand and she smiled as if she just fell in love with him all over.
They walked towards the moon, not knowing where they were going, and not caring about anything but each other.
]]> cobra starship gabe saporta Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-01-29T18:22:00Z <![CDATA["I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, What hurts more is that I would still die for you."]]> http://ilyryanross125.buzznet.com/user/journal/1591871/ Sorry, Listening to Armor For Sleep.

:]

So like, I'm really bored.

I think someone should put me in a fanfic!

That would make my life.

:]

(I told Alex Suarez from CS that if i got a reply it'd make my life and he relpied:))

tehe:]

Here I go:

The Name's: Kristen.

The Height Is: 5'6"

The Age is: However old you need.

The wieght is: I havent check for a while...My friends say Im way too skinny if that helps

The hair is: reddish dark brown.

The taste of clothing: Bands shirts and skinnies.

The music is: all fueled by ramen bands and flyleaf, armor for sleep, plain white t's, mayday parade, all time low, cartel, boys like girls and metro station.

Anything else ask.

Thanks!

 

]]> blah blah blah blah. yada yada yada Buzznet ilyryanross125 2008-01-02T16:53:00Z